Tuesday, 6 March 2012

Can Boys and Girls Ever Just Be Friends?

This is a common problem faced by people every day, all over the world! Can a guy and a girl ever just be friends? I am under the firm belief that boys and girls CAN just be friends. I am one of these girls who gets on much better with guys than girls. There is less bitching, less expectation to impress and if you leave the house without make up on they don't ask you if you're ill. Everything just seems easier with guy mates, (dating guys on the otherhand, is definitely more of a head fuck).  So as a result I am often seen as one of the boys. (Or as my brother tells me when I out man him - I'm a lad!). Don't get me wrong I have my close circle of female friends that I can turn to when I need some girly advice, but most of the time I am more at home in the company of men. This has proved an issue with men in the past, however. Be it jealous ex-boyfriends or just misreading signals by male friends, I still maintain that opposite sex friendships can exist.

My best friend Larry is a prime example of the boy/ girl dilemma. We have been friends for 12 years since meeting in year 7 at School - when fate decided we should be in the same form class. Poor Larry must have done something very bad in a past life, as he had to suffer going all the way through secondary school with me in his form class, so inevitably we became best friends! Even when I went off to University and he stayed at home, we still remained close - having cinema catch ups and just generally hanging out. Due to this there has always been the 'will they, won't they?' question over our heads. To this day nothing has ever happened between us and unless by some unfortunate incident, we both find ourselves single at 30, we will have to enforce the Las Vegas shot gun wedding pact we drunkenly thought up one random night. Unless this occurs, then nothing will ever happen between us past friendship. This is something we both agree on. However, recently we had friends quizzing us about when we would get together. It was done in good nature, as we found ourselves yet again being a non- couple 'couple' at a couple heavy night out, but it still doesn't make it any less annoying when the whole world is deciding your fate for you and neither of you agree to it. He is one of my best friends and always will be even though he is of the opposite gender to me. So based on this friendship, I believe guys and girls can just be friends.

However, I appreciate that there are situations where it isn't always this straight forward. I have had some sticky situations where guy mates have misread signals and you have that awkward 'I only see you as a friend' converstaion. I know guys that this is like a kick to the balls, but would you rather hear the truth? Which is that we have no desire to be with you nor do we find you remotely attractive! I think for your egos sake we are being cruel to be kind by using the 'friend' line - trust me.

I am a natural flirt. I don't mean to be and most the time I genuinly don't realise I am doing it, but it appears to be a genetic trait I inherited from my Mum. She is a massive flirt, but will always deny it when you pick her up on it. This has, as I said, landed me in trouble on a few occasions. Most recently was when I went to visit my old housemate, Hobbit. When living together we had that awkward, fancy a date? convo, not long after I split up with the BFG. I didn't handle it well though, as he asked me when I was beyond hungover. I had been to Chepstow with the family to help find a shop unit for the up and coming sweet shop Mum was opening. (Check out Sherbet and Lemon on facebook https://www.facebook.com/pages/Sherbet-and-Lemon/143179442429984 to see our lovely shop! -What? I don't mind a bit of shameless plugging!) Anyway, back to my tale of woe - cue me hiding under my cardigan and pretending I was invisible. Mature I know, but I was too hungover to cope with functioning, let alone the situation that was unfolding. After a little awkwardness, it blew over, so when I went up for a catch up, I thought nothing of going out,, just the two of us to a club in Cardiff. We even had a bet on, that whoever got the most attention that night, was bought cheese and chips - a post night out must - by the loser. So challenge on!

                                BIG MISTAKE!

Cut to the end of the night with him ranting and raving at me in the club, then screaming at me outside the club, in the taxi on the way home and when we got in the house! In the end I just agreed with everything he said to shut him up! It appears whilst I thought he had moved on, jealousy reared his ugly head, and the result was a half hour rant fest, where I think I was practically told I was worse than Hitler! Although I stopped listening after a while so who knows? And the relevence of this anecdote I hear you ask? Well I suppose this counter argues my point about guys and girls being just friends. Once feelings are involved, it becomes a lot harder to maintain the 'just friends' boundaries. This is often the plot line to Rom Coms, and the guy and the girl end up getting together. But in reality it is very different. As soon as one party shows no interest, things soon get pretty ugly. So I guess that guys and girls can only ever be JUST friends, if there are no feelings involved.

Also, for those interested, I totally won the bet, but due to the endless ranting failed to claim my prize of cheese and chips :( Sad times!

Peace out
Random Quirky Girl x

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