Now I am sure I am not alone in this feeling that your other half would rather spend time playing with his/her x box one (other consoles available) and online "friends" than spend quality time with you, but my question is why do we put up with this shit?
I have been unwell today and off work as a result. It took a pity text from me, bearing in mind we are in the same house and living together for nearly a year, for him to come up and pay me any attention and after less than 2 hours, his x box one called and he buggered off again. If this is what the rest of my life is set to look like, then I am better off being single? Dramatic I know, but I am at the end of my tether and potentially the end of this relationship.
This isn't an isolated event either. The other night he gets a text from one of his friends asking him to game. We rarely spend any time together due to conflicting work schedules and all I wanted to do was enjoy the sunshine outside, as it is a rare event in the UK, whereas he is hell bent on getting home and playing with his friends online. Whilst I appreciate that due to his works rota and living in a different city to where he works that he isn't able to see his friends as often, but for once it would have been nice for him to choose us instead of the x box. Especially as he spends his days off on the x box one and I spend at least one of mine, cleaning the house and making sure things are nice for us when he gets home.
I am a little proud of the fact however. that I have managed to get my cats on my side with regards to the x box one hating. A few months ago my youngest cat Lilly went through a bout of having an upset stomach. As a result she left a tiny poo on the x box one. A part of me was jealous that I had not thought of this ingenious plan first, but I was also a proud Mum of what the little minx had managed to do. Needless to say he shouted at her for her crimes, but I rewarded her later with cuddles and treats to let her know it was appreciated.
And now I am blogging about my woes to a world of strangers and believe me when I type that I know I sound like a moaning woman, when there are more important things happening in the world, but this is what my life has become. My question is whether I am happy to settle for a life of second best or whether I decide to go it alone again with Millie and Lilly and find that person who will put me before that of a machine. The saying goes that opposites attract, but maybe in this case we are too opposite....
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Tuesday 21 April 2015
Monday 28 October 2013
Number 10 - Do something random
So last Monday I completed number 10 on my list. Now those following the list will realise that number 10 on my list was "tbc". However, with the help of Miss Red Star number 10 became:
"Do something random."
And with that in mind I went segwaying!!!!
I wasn't sure what to expect when Miss Red Star asked me if I would like to be her plus one, but my God it was soooo much fun!!!!! Miss Red Star's Mum had got her a gift voucher for two for Christmas. The company we went through was www.segwayevents.co.uk. We booked into the Chepstow branch and got ready to get our segway on. After a quick train and taxi journey we arrived ready for action!
The view was pretty cool as it was in an old quarry and the Instructors were definitely eye candy material! I mean.... they looked like they were very qualified in the art of segway. Who am I kidding? They were total eye candy, although me and Miss Red Star differed our opinion on the guy who lead our group around.
We were lucky as there were only 4 of us in our group: Me and Miss Red Star and a couple in their late 50s/ early 60s. They were pretty reckless for the older generation! They were falling off and jumping back on, going down hill backwards and racing round us, whilst me and Miss Red Star attempted to make the Segway move forward.
Anyway, here are a few pictures on the day:
The Look of Terror on my face. I was travelling
about 2 miles an hour at this point! Shamed!!!!!
Me and Miss Red Star posing. I kept going backwards! No idea why
Acting all Thug life yo!
We had to guess who would fall off first - Turns out Miss Red Star was nearly right!
The weirdest thing about segwaying was getting the balance right. It was much easier to go backwards, or maybe I just have a natural backwards centre of gravity. But once you got the hang of it it was quite easy. I had a near fall, which could have potentially broken my ankle. If you fall off balance you need to fall backwards, because if you fall forward the segway continues to move forward. You move the Segway based on the pressure in your feet. More pressure forward on your toes and it moves forward and to go backward you need to move the pressure into your heels. So naturally, being my clumsy self, I fell forward and went to put my foot down in front of the Segway. Could have been game over and a nice trip in an Ambulance to Hospital but luckily I fell off balance backwards and stopped myself from falling off. Always a drama!
I would highly recommend going segwaying and I will be recommending it for our next team building day out in work! Such a good laugh and some really funny memories made. Cheers Miss Red Star for helping me tick something off the list! Won't be forgetting this day in a hurry :)
So the list as it stands now:
1. Transformation/ make-over
2. New Tattoo
3. Move Out
4. Do something that scares me
5. Lose Weight
6. Travel somewhere
7. Visit my half-sister
8. Write 2 closure letters to the ex's who hurt me the most
9. Make something
10. Do something random
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
"Do something random."
And with that in mind I went segwaying!!!!
I wasn't sure what to expect when Miss Red Star asked me if I would like to be her plus one, but my God it was soooo much fun!!!!! Miss Red Star's Mum had got her a gift voucher for two for Christmas. The company we went through was www.segwayevents.co.uk. We booked into the Chepstow branch and got ready to get our segway on. After a quick train and taxi journey we arrived ready for action!
The view was pretty cool as it was in an old quarry and the Instructors were definitely eye candy material! I mean.... they looked like they were very qualified in the art of segway. Who am I kidding? They were total eye candy, although me and Miss Red Star differed our opinion on the guy who lead our group around.
We were lucky as there were only 4 of us in our group: Me and Miss Red Star and a couple in their late 50s/ early 60s. They were pretty reckless for the older generation! They were falling off and jumping back on, going down hill backwards and racing round us, whilst me and Miss Red Star attempted to make the Segway move forward.
Anyway, here are a few pictures on the day:
about 2 miles an hour at this point! Shamed!!!!!
The weirdest thing about segwaying was getting the balance right. It was much easier to go backwards, or maybe I just have a natural backwards centre of gravity. But once you got the hang of it it was quite easy. I had a near fall, which could have potentially broken my ankle. If you fall off balance you need to fall backwards, because if you fall forward the segway continues to move forward. You move the Segway based on the pressure in your feet. More pressure forward on your toes and it moves forward and to go backward you need to move the pressure into your heels. So naturally, being my clumsy self, I fell forward and went to put my foot down in front of the Segway. Could have been game over and a nice trip in an Ambulance to Hospital but luckily I fell off balance backwards and stopped myself from falling off. Always a drama!
I would highly recommend going segwaying and I will be recommending it for our next team building day out in work! Such a good laugh and some really funny memories made. Cheers Miss Red Star for helping me tick something off the list! Won't be forgetting this day in a hurry :)
So the list as it stands now:
1. Transformation/ make-over
3. Move Out
4. Do something that scares me
5. Lose Weight
6. Travel somewhere
7. Visit my half-sister
8. Write 2 closure letters to the ex's who hurt me the most
9. Make something
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Saturday 28 September 2013
It's just.... a little crush...
So, on Thursday I was making my way home from work. It was just like every other Thursday, nothing special. I was catching up with my friend Silver Fox and we were putting the world to rights on our train ride home from work. I get off at Bridgend and start my usual strut down the platform, pretending it is a runway and I am the latest, hottest Model about town. I get about half way down when my eyes catch the eyes of a beautiful looking guy. Brown hair hidden under a baseball cap, nose ring (which always make my knees weak when I see a guy with one) and you just knew he had a few cheeky tattoos hidden under his clothing. It was like a bomb went off based on the spark that ignited when our eyes collided.
So I text the Silver Fox to tell him I had just practically eye fucked some guy still on the train. His response, after some laughter at my dramtics, was to suggest i write to the rush hour crush section in theMetro. I laughed at this crazy notion but the next day, I found myself picking up the Metro for the first time in ages.
So that is what we did on the train journey to work on Friday, with a little help from the Silver Fox. My advert reads:
"You, nose ringed hipster, me, dizzy blonde with purple dips. Our eyes meet as i got off the 18.26 swansea train at bridgend. Drink some time? "
I really do not expect, firstly for it to be printed, or secondly for a response, but it has kept me amused!
So keep your eyes peeled, as I know I will be.
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
So I text the Silver Fox to tell him I had just practically eye fucked some guy still on the train. His response, after some laughter at my dramtics, was to suggest i write to the rush hour crush section in theMetro. I laughed at this crazy notion but the next day, I found myself picking up the Metro for the first time in ages.
So that is what we did on the train journey to work on Friday, with a little help from the Silver Fox. My advert reads:
"You, nose ringed hipster, me, dizzy blonde with purple dips. Our eyes meet as i got off the 18.26 swansea train at bridgend. Drink some time? "
I really do not expect, firstly for it to be printed, or secondly for a response, but it has kept me amused!
So keep your eyes peeled, as I know I will be.
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Sunday 15 September 2013
The List - Number 2
So I can finally tick off number 2 on the single girl's to do list as last Saturday I got a new tattoo!
I went to a new studio on Whitchurch Road in Cardiff called "Two Heart Tattoo Studio" and I received the best service from the owners Katan and Gareth, so much so that I will definitely be going back for my next one. They kept the studio open late for my initial consultation and again so I could view the design and they made me feel welcome right from the start. So here it is, my latest work of art:
The basis of this tattoo is designed around the All American Rejects lyrics "one boy, one girl, two hearts, their world". I have loved these lyrics for as long as I can remember and I wanted to somehow incorporate them into a tattoo. My original idea was a stick boy and girl with a heart on each of their chests and holding a world. When I explained this idea to Katan, she took it on board and said she would draw it up for me, but offered a suggestion of something slightly different. I was reluctant at first, but when I went to view both designs, her design won me over instantly, and there was no doubt in my mind which design I would be getting. And so the above tattoo was born!
Out of the 4 tattoos I have had, this one has healed the nicest and hurt the least. I didn't use numbing cream because it would blur the stencil, so I was literally bricking it, but I can honestly say it doesn't hurt! My wrist to date hurt the most and it is the smallest design.
I will definitely be going back to Two Hearts Tattoo Studio and if you are looking for a tattooist I urge you to take them into consideration: https: //www.facebook.com/pages/Two-Hearts-Tattoo-Studio/253041938175214?fref=ts
So the list as it stands now:
1. Transformation/ make-over
2. New Tattoo
3. Move Out
4. Do something that scares me
5. Lose Weight
6. Travel somewhere
7. Visit my half-sister
8. Write 2 closure letters to the ex's who hurt me the most
9. Make something
10. (not yet thought of)
Here's to crossing the next one out!
Peace out
Random Quirky Girl x
I went to a new studio on Whitchurch Road in Cardiff called "Two Heart Tattoo Studio" and I received the best service from the owners Katan and Gareth, so much so that I will definitely be going back for my next one. They kept the studio open late for my initial consultation and again so I could view the design and they made me feel welcome right from the start. So here it is, my latest work of art:
The basis of this tattoo is designed around the All American Rejects lyrics "one boy, one girl, two hearts, their world". I have loved these lyrics for as long as I can remember and I wanted to somehow incorporate them into a tattoo. My original idea was a stick boy and girl with a heart on each of their chests and holding a world. When I explained this idea to Katan, she took it on board and said she would draw it up for me, but offered a suggestion of something slightly different. I was reluctant at first, but when I went to view both designs, her design won me over instantly, and there was no doubt in my mind which design I would be getting. And so the above tattoo was born!
Out of the 4 tattoos I have had, this one has healed the nicest and hurt the least. I didn't use numbing cream because it would blur the stencil, so I was literally bricking it, but I can honestly say it doesn't hurt! My wrist to date hurt the most and it is the smallest design.
I will definitely be going back to Two Hearts Tattoo Studio and if you are looking for a tattooist I urge you to take them into consideration: https: //www.facebook.com/pages/Two-Hearts-Tattoo-Studio/253041938175214?fref=ts
So the list as it stands now:
1. Transformation/ make-over
3. Move Out
4. Do something that scares me
5. Lose Weight
6. Travel somewhere
7. Visit my half-sister
8. Write 2 closure letters to the ex's who hurt me the most
9. Make something
10. (not yet thought of)
Here's to crossing the next one out!
Peace out
Random Quirky Girl x
Sunday 1 September 2013
The Single Girls To Do List
I am a sucker for a good romance novel and secretly I think most girls are. That little bit of romantic escapism after a long day at work, knowing that you will be transported to a world where the girl gets the guy and everyone lives happily ever after.... *swoon* They are my guilty pleasure and I am loud and proud about it!
So in my quest for my next escapist hit, I borrowed a book from my Sister's room called "The Single Girl's To-Do List". Now, before you jump to conclusions it is not a self-help book for spinsters, it is actually a well written piece of chick lit by the author Lindsey Kelk. Although, I am sure there are those out there who will never believe any chick lit is well written... read it and see for yourself.
The story is based around a make-up artist called Rachel Summers, who gets dumped by her boyfriend Simon, so with the aid of her two best friends and a lot of alcohol in a pub, writes a list of 10 things she must do by her Father's wedding in 2 weeks time, to embrace her newly single life. The book leads the character on various adventures, from a new image to a trip to Canada to reunite with her first love. But eventually she ends up falling in love with a very hunky photographer called Dan.
Now I know it is just a book and therefore created in someone's imagination, but I get bored quite easily and so after finishing the book, I started thinking about what I would put on a list if I had one. So I sat down and wrote a list and by number 9 I thought, fuck it! Why not give it a go? What have I got to lose? So that is what I have decided to do! But unlike in the book I have set a target of 6 months instead of two weeks, mainly because I work and I am not stupidly rich, nor a character in a book. I had to be more realistic about it sadly :(
So here is my single girl's to-do list:
1. Transformation/ make-over
2. New Tattoo
3. Move Out
4. Do something that scares me
5. Lose Weight
6. Travel somewhere
7. Visit my half-sister
8. Write 2 closure letters to the ex's who hurt me the most
9. Make something
10. (not yet thought of)
So, I have until the 1st March to get all of this achieved (and think of a tenth thing to do). It is not in list order but can be chosen at random and I have spoken to some friends who said they will help me out with some things on my list. I will of course blog about it too as what's the point in telling you about the list, if you never hear about it again? You might also notice that there is nothing of a romantic nature on the list. I have decided to stop looking for 'the one' and just wait for him to find me! Doesn't mean I will live like a Nun until that magical day, but I also won't actively search him out either. What will be will be and all that jazz!
So watch this space! This single lady is on a mission
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
So in my quest for my next escapist hit, I borrowed a book from my Sister's room called "The Single Girl's To-Do List". Now, before you jump to conclusions it is not a self-help book for spinsters, it is actually a well written piece of chick lit by the author Lindsey Kelk. Although, I am sure there are those out there who will never believe any chick lit is well written... read it and see for yourself.
The story is based around a make-up artist called Rachel Summers, who gets dumped by her boyfriend Simon, so with the aid of her two best friends and a lot of alcohol in a pub, writes a list of 10 things she must do by her Father's wedding in 2 weeks time, to embrace her newly single life. The book leads the character on various adventures, from a new image to a trip to Canada to reunite with her first love. But eventually she ends up falling in love with a very hunky photographer called Dan.
Now I know it is just a book and therefore created in someone's imagination, but I get bored quite easily and so after finishing the book, I started thinking about what I would put on a list if I had one. So I sat down and wrote a list and by number 9 I thought, fuck it! Why not give it a go? What have I got to lose? So that is what I have decided to do! But unlike in the book I have set a target of 6 months instead of two weeks, mainly because I work and I am not stupidly rich, nor a character in a book. I had to be more realistic about it sadly :(
So here is my single girl's to-do list:
1. Transformation/ make-over
2. New Tattoo
3. Move Out
4. Do something that scares me
5. Lose Weight
6. Travel somewhere
7. Visit my half-sister
8. Write 2 closure letters to the ex's who hurt me the most
9. Make something
10. (not yet thought of)
So, I have until the 1st March to get all of this achieved (and think of a tenth thing to do). It is not in list order but can be chosen at random and I have spoken to some friends who said they will help me out with some things on my list. I will of course blog about it too as what's the point in telling you about the list, if you never hear about it again? You might also notice that there is nothing of a romantic nature on the list. I have decided to stop looking for 'the one' and just wait for him to find me! Doesn't mean I will live like a Nun until that magical day, but I also won't actively search him out either. What will be will be and all that jazz!
So watch this space! This single lady is on a mission
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Wednesday 7 August 2013
The Ex Factor
So I went on my first date since officially rejoining the singles market and my god was it an eye opener!
For the sake of concealing his identity, we shall call him Mr G*Star. Now, ever the gentleman, Mr G*Star decided he would pass the buck of choosing what to do on our first date to me..... great! I don't know about you, but I hate going for food on a first date. It is awkward and if the date is going really badly you have no quick escape routes, as it would be rude to leave before dessert, which in my opinion is the best course. Cinemas also seem unacceptable as first date options as you are unable to get to know the person you are on the date with. I personally love cinema dates as if the date is going badly, you get to see a film and have something to make small talk about afterwards. After much deliberation I decided that we would go for a few drinks after work. I didn't mind which bar we drank at so I left it to him to decide on the location. Somehow he thought going to Mill Lane was the perfect choice. Now for most of you out there who don't know where I am referring to, Mill Lane is for the suit wearing banker types, who have more money than sense and like to act pretentious and splash the cash. In other words the complete opposite of me. When it comes to going to a bar, I prefer comfort over style every time. However, not wanting to discourage him I agreed. We ended up going to a bar called Kapu (or 'Cat Poo' as one of the guys in work called it), which had recently opened on Mill Lane. To my complete surprise, it wasn't as pretentious as it could have been and was actually quite quirky. I was slightly nervous because not only had I turned up 20 minutes late, after being stuck late in work, it was also the first date I had been on in a while.
So, armed with girly pink cocktails (which I totally gave him man points for joining me with), we grabbed a table outside as the weather was nice and I had been stuck indoors most of the day. Chatting with him to begin with was a little stunted, but I just put it down to nerves on both fronts and kept filling any silences with random chatter. I think one of the more memorable moments was when I asked him what kind of till they used in work.... not one of my finer conversation starters I will admit. After a few sips of the bright pink cocktail, my nerves settled and talking became easier.
We spoke about all sorts, from work to festivals to going abroad. However, I started to notice that something kept coming up in conversation... his ex. I can't recall how we got onto the conversation of wrists, but I have stupidly small wrists and took my casio watch off to visually demonstrate it, as the metal casing is set at my wrist size. Mr G*Star then subtly adds that his ex bought the watch he was wearing. So this first "ex" mention didn't raise any alarm bells. It was just a passing comment... or so I thought. The occasional mention of the dreaded ex is fine, but it didn't stop there! Topic after topic, the ex kept getting mentioned. I think in total I counted at least 10 times he brought her up. Don't get me wrong, I am all up for being honest about past loves and how they have affected you etc, as I am the first to admit I carry the metaphorical scars of past relationships. Personally I think it is third or fourth date territory, that the ex discussions can take place, but on a first date, MAJOR NO NO. I felt a little bit sorry for him as I don't even think he realised he was doing it.
So two cocktails later and I realised I needed to catch my train home or I would miss my connecting bus. A part of me was quite relieved to have the perfect reason to leave, as I had run out of conversation starters and I really didn't want to hear anymore about his ex. I left it on good terms proposing we do it again sometime. I didn't want to write it off just yet as I needed to think about whether it was worth giving him a second shot.
I rang Miss Koko for a post date breakdown and the more I told her about it, the more I realised that I really did not want a second date. It wasn't the fact that he isn't a nice guy, but it had totally put me off him. But the tricky part was telling him without coming across as a total bitch. I mean how do you tell a guy that the reason you are not keen to see him again is because he spoke about his ex too much? So I took the chickens way out and didn't tell him for a few days. Right now half of you out there are judging my cowardly stance and the other half are totally agreeing with me that they would have done the same. Judge away as I know I would if I was reading this.
The next day on lunch I told the girls all about it. They agreed with me that he had committed one of the ultimate first date faux pas and that he clearly still had ex issues. That was it, my mind was made up and I knew I had to end it before it was too late and a second date was arranged. So, the next morning, I facebooked him telling him that I didn't think it was a good idea we go on a second date, because I was the one who was not over my ex and did not want to hurt him in the long run. I guess part of that was true, I am not completely over the Toyboy and still miss hearing from him, but I also couldn't tell Mr G*Star the real reason, because it just seemed mean. Cut to Lunch time and I am telling the girls again about ending it and who should walk past, but Mr G*Star just as one of the girls loudly announces that I should have just told him the truth that he was the one who had put you off by talking about his ex repeatedly! Now, I do not know if he heard me and I pray to god he didn't as no one needs to hear that kind of truth, but to make an awkward situation even more awkward I waved and said hi. To say it was an awkward Turtle Moment was an understatement, especially when I explained to the girls who he was and the laughter that erupted!
One thing that I did learn from my disastrous date with Mr G*Star is that I do not think I am quite ready to start dating again. So I guess something good came out of the experience.
So fuck relationships and here's to being single! Well until the next guy walks by and catches my eye....
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
For the sake of concealing his identity, we shall call him Mr G*Star. Now, ever the gentleman, Mr G*Star decided he would pass the buck of choosing what to do on our first date to me..... great! I don't know about you, but I hate going for food on a first date. It is awkward and if the date is going really badly you have no quick escape routes, as it would be rude to leave before dessert, which in my opinion is the best course. Cinemas also seem unacceptable as first date options as you are unable to get to know the person you are on the date with. I personally love cinema dates as if the date is going badly, you get to see a film and have something to make small talk about afterwards. After much deliberation I decided that we would go for a few drinks after work. I didn't mind which bar we drank at so I left it to him to decide on the location. Somehow he thought going to Mill Lane was the perfect choice. Now for most of you out there who don't know where I am referring to, Mill Lane is for the suit wearing banker types, who have more money than sense and like to act pretentious and splash the cash. In other words the complete opposite of me. When it comes to going to a bar, I prefer comfort over style every time. However, not wanting to discourage him I agreed. We ended up going to a bar called Kapu (or 'Cat Poo' as one of the guys in work called it), which had recently opened on Mill Lane. To my complete surprise, it wasn't as pretentious as it could have been and was actually quite quirky. I was slightly nervous because not only had I turned up 20 minutes late, after being stuck late in work, it was also the first date I had been on in a while.
So, armed with girly pink cocktails (which I totally gave him man points for joining me with), we grabbed a table outside as the weather was nice and I had been stuck indoors most of the day. Chatting with him to begin with was a little stunted, but I just put it down to nerves on both fronts and kept filling any silences with random chatter. I think one of the more memorable moments was when I asked him what kind of till they used in work.... not one of my finer conversation starters I will admit. After a few sips of the bright pink cocktail, my nerves settled and talking became easier.
We spoke about all sorts, from work to festivals to going abroad. However, I started to notice that something kept coming up in conversation... his ex. I can't recall how we got onto the conversation of wrists, but I have stupidly small wrists and took my casio watch off to visually demonstrate it, as the metal casing is set at my wrist size. Mr G*Star then subtly adds that his ex bought the watch he was wearing. So this first "ex" mention didn't raise any alarm bells. It was just a passing comment... or so I thought. The occasional mention of the dreaded ex is fine, but it didn't stop there! Topic after topic, the ex kept getting mentioned. I think in total I counted at least 10 times he brought her up. Don't get me wrong, I am all up for being honest about past loves and how they have affected you etc, as I am the first to admit I carry the metaphorical scars of past relationships. Personally I think it is third or fourth date territory, that the ex discussions can take place, but on a first date, MAJOR NO NO. I felt a little bit sorry for him as I don't even think he realised he was doing it.
So two cocktails later and I realised I needed to catch my train home or I would miss my connecting bus. A part of me was quite relieved to have the perfect reason to leave, as I had run out of conversation starters and I really didn't want to hear anymore about his ex. I left it on good terms proposing we do it again sometime. I didn't want to write it off just yet as I needed to think about whether it was worth giving him a second shot.
I rang Miss Koko for a post date breakdown and the more I told her about it, the more I realised that I really did not want a second date. It wasn't the fact that he isn't a nice guy, but it had totally put me off him. But the tricky part was telling him without coming across as a total bitch. I mean how do you tell a guy that the reason you are not keen to see him again is because he spoke about his ex too much? So I took the chickens way out and didn't tell him for a few days. Right now half of you out there are judging my cowardly stance and the other half are totally agreeing with me that they would have done the same. Judge away as I know I would if I was reading this.
The next day on lunch I told the girls all about it. They agreed with me that he had committed one of the ultimate first date faux pas and that he clearly still had ex issues. That was it, my mind was made up and I knew I had to end it before it was too late and a second date was arranged. So, the next morning, I facebooked him telling him that I didn't think it was a good idea we go on a second date, because I was the one who was not over my ex and did not want to hurt him in the long run. I guess part of that was true, I am not completely over the Toyboy and still miss hearing from him, but I also couldn't tell Mr G*Star the real reason, because it just seemed mean. Cut to Lunch time and I am telling the girls again about ending it and who should walk past, but Mr G*Star just as one of the girls loudly announces that I should have just told him the truth that he was the one who had put you off by talking about his ex repeatedly! Now, I do not know if he heard me and I pray to god he didn't as no one needs to hear that kind of truth, but to make an awkward situation even more awkward I waved and said hi. To say it was an awkward Turtle Moment was an understatement, especially when I explained to the girls who he was and the laughter that erupted!
One thing that I did learn from my disastrous date with Mr G*Star is that I do not think I am quite ready to start dating again. So I guess something good came out of the experience.
So fuck relationships and here's to being single! Well until the next guy walks by and catches my eye....
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Tuesday 11 June 2013
Baby if you could would you go back to the start?.......
......... Take any fresh steps or watch it all fall apart again?
So, the Toy Boy and me have split up. Why are you blogging about this I hear you ask? Well they say talking about things is theraputic and so I am going to blog as my rememdy. Plus it's my blog and I will blog if I want to.
I have sat about thinking for the last 2 days about everything that has happened. Like 95% of Women out there, I have thought about everything over and over in my head. I went through stages of anger and upset. Then came denial that he will turn around and say he made a mistake, but eventually reality set in and I realised that it is over and there is nothing I can do about it. I am done with fighting for us, as you are always going to lose when you are the only person trying. Don't get me wrong, most of the brief time myself and the Toy Boy were together it was really good. He got on really well with my friends and family, which is incredibly important to me. At the beginning, he would surprise me with emails of pieces of graphic art that he had designed for me whilst I slept, (he is a graphic design student, not some creepy weirdo) and when he went back home over Easter, surprised me when he came to stay with flowers and chocolates. It was very romantic of him and although I didn't say it at the time blew me away, as I had never been woo'd like that before. When he wanted to be he was the perfect boyfriend and I thought that maybe, just maybe I had got it right this time. He filled my head with ideas that we had a future. He told me he was willing to stay in Cardiff post-uni, in order for us to make a good go of it and he even got angry when I suggested at the start, before things got serious, that this was more of a brief fling until he moved back home. However, over time things changed and other issues started to affect us. I won't discuss these issues publically because it is not my place to talk about it, but those who know me know what I mean. It was like the giant elephant in the room and he liked to ignore it. And no it was not problems in the bedroom department if that is what you are thinking, he just had issues that he could not face and so it festered. I think I got to close to discovering the real him and it freaked him out. I have always been honest that I need complete honesty when in a relationship. Once he started to close off from me, I knew we were going to drift apart, but he kept telling me this is what he wanted and I believed him. Maybe I need to learn not to trust people at their word, but life would be very dull if you were cynical about everything that is said to you.
The thing I cannot get my head around, and maybe a wise person out there can explain it to this dizzy blonde, but he says he loves me so much and was surprised by his feelings, but that he has to walk away for my own good. Surely if you love someone as strongly as he has claimed, you do anything but walk away? Surely, if the feelings are THAT strong you fight for what you want? Maybe it is the deluded romantic inside me who sees the world through rose tinted glasses, but this is the one thing I am unable to get my head around.
But, unlike with the BFG, I have decided not to sit and dwell and scrutinise why this relationship failed, as then you get into some pretty dark and deep shit. Instead, I have decided to just get back out there. Find someone who isn't afraid of his feelings and will just be there for me. I am sure along the ride I will face more ups and downs than a badly designed rollar coaster, but surely that's part of the learning curve? There was a time where I would have sat and cried and become an emotional wreck, but enough is enough! Instead I am going to use my week off work to sort myself out and on Monday the 17th June, I start the next chapter in my life. I will be starting a new job as a paralegal in Cardiff and it seems the perfect timing to start over again.
I guess there is someone out there for everyone and I will always think of the Toy Boy with good memories. If he ever read this, I would want him to know that he is an amazing guy and once he sorts things out, he will make an amazing boyfriend to some lucky girl. He just needs to work on his self belief and once he has tackled this hurdle there will be no stopping him.
Oh well, here's to the future and future adventures, mishaps, drunken texts and many memories :)
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
So, the Toy Boy and me have split up. Why are you blogging about this I hear you ask? Well they say talking about things is theraputic and so I am going to blog as my rememdy. Plus it's my blog and I will blog if I want to.
I have sat about thinking for the last 2 days about everything that has happened. Like 95% of Women out there, I have thought about everything over and over in my head. I went through stages of anger and upset. Then came denial that he will turn around and say he made a mistake, but eventually reality set in and I realised that it is over and there is nothing I can do about it. I am done with fighting for us, as you are always going to lose when you are the only person trying. Don't get me wrong, most of the brief time myself and the Toy Boy were together it was really good. He got on really well with my friends and family, which is incredibly important to me. At the beginning, he would surprise me with emails of pieces of graphic art that he had designed for me whilst I slept, (he is a graphic design student, not some creepy weirdo) and when he went back home over Easter, surprised me when he came to stay with flowers and chocolates. It was very romantic of him and although I didn't say it at the time blew me away, as I had never been woo'd like that before. When he wanted to be he was the perfect boyfriend and I thought that maybe, just maybe I had got it right this time. He filled my head with ideas that we had a future. He told me he was willing to stay in Cardiff post-uni, in order for us to make a good go of it and he even got angry when I suggested at the start, before things got serious, that this was more of a brief fling until he moved back home. However, over time things changed and other issues started to affect us. I won't discuss these issues publically because it is not my place to talk about it, but those who know me know what I mean. It was like the giant elephant in the room and he liked to ignore it. And no it was not problems in the bedroom department if that is what you are thinking, he just had issues that he could not face and so it festered. I think I got to close to discovering the real him and it freaked him out. I have always been honest that I need complete honesty when in a relationship. Once he started to close off from me, I knew we were going to drift apart, but he kept telling me this is what he wanted and I believed him. Maybe I need to learn not to trust people at their word, but life would be very dull if you were cynical about everything that is said to you.
The thing I cannot get my head around, and maybe a wise person out there can explain it to this dizzy blonde, but he says he loves me so much and was surprised by his feelings, but that he has to walk away for my own good. Surely if you love someone as strongly as he has claimed, you do anything but walk away? Surely, if the feelings are THAT strong you fight for what you want? Maybe it is the deluded romantic inside me who sees the world through rose tinted glasses, but this is the one thing I am unable to get my head around.
But, unlike with the BFG, I have decided not to sit and dwell and scrutinise why this relationship failed, as then you get into some pretty dark and deep shit. Instead, I have decided to just get back out there. Find someone who isn't afraid of his feelings and will just be there for me. I am sure along the ride I will face more ups and downs than a badly designed rollar coaster, but surely that's part of the learning curve? There was a time where I would have sat and cried and become an emotional wreck, but enough is enough! Instead I am going to use my week off work to sort myself out and on Monday the 17th June, I start the next chapter in my life. I will be starting a new job as a paralegal in Cardiff and it seems the perfect timing to start over again.
I guess there is someone out there for everyone and I will always think of the Toy Boy with good memories. If he ever read this, I would want him to know that he is an amazing guy and once he sorts things out, he will make an amazing boyfriend to some lucky girl. He just needs to work on his self belief and once he has tackled this hurdle there will be no stopping him.
Oh well, here's to the future and future adventures, mishaps, drunken texts and many memories :)
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
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