So my friend Straight Edge (called so due to his Straight Edge lifestyle) has recently become single after splitting up from his fiancee of three and a half years. Now, there is nothing strange about people breaking up. This happens on a daily, if not hourly basis all around the world. However, what got me thinking is the way people react to a break up.
I have always been the type of girl to reach for her two favourite men, Mr Ben and Mr Jerry, get the girls round for a romantic film, usually the notebook, (which reaffirms that true love only happens in the movies) and bitch about what a bastard he was and the girls informing me of how they never really approved of him. A lot of snotty tissues and many tears cried later and I am ready to face the world again. Well, after rigorous amounts of make up is applied to help try and disguise my swollen, blotchy eyes and my spotty skin from all the junk food. However, Straight Edge has handled his break up too well and is already back on the dating scene. Now to me it is far too soon, but I guess everyone has their own way of coping with this. I am a great believer that there should be a period of mourning post relationship. Like when someone dies and everyone grieves for that person, I think a break up (well a long-term break up anyway) should be like that. I also believe it is more respectful to the other party, regardless of who finally said enough was enough, to give it a little bit of time before moving on to the next girl or boyfriend, otherwise it just makes it look like the relationship didn't mean anything in the first place. I think the longer the relationship, the more time should pass. I remember someone telling me before that the amount of time you should wait before moving on was was based on the length of time together. I can't remember exactly how it worked but for example, if you were together for 3 months then you should wait 3 weeks before moving on. My maths brain isn't switched on fully tonight as I blog but I think it was based on roughly a third of the time together. Anyway, I remember thinking at the time that it was quite a good theory.
But then again life's too short so why not make the most of it and this got me thinking about those people who rebound upon breaking up. I remember trying this when I split with the BFG but I was rubbish at it. I was hurting badly and wanted to do something to numb the pain and I just wanted to do something out of character for a change. I wanted to be wreckless and spontaneous, but I was truly awful at it as deep down I was not ready to move on. I remember the boys I lived with dragging me out for a night of dancing and faaar too much alcohol. My housemate Wallace (as he looks like Wallace from Wallace and Gromit when he smiles) thought it was hilarious to try and "set me up" with guys. He kept telling guys I was newly single and on the rebound. I remember being at the bar and Wallace was explaining to the hundredth guy about my situation and before I knew it me and this random stranger were talking. He wasn't really my type but he bought me a drink and small talk commenced. Then I noticed he had a sleeve and it was a pretty wicked sleeve at that. All down his arm he had the characters of Nightmare Before Christmas. Now as everyone knows by now I am a sucker for a tattoo'd guy, so this guy suddenly became more appealing and the more I drank, the more I thought I could give this whole rebounding thing a go. The copious amount of alcohol was giving me a false sense of bravado and I thought, fuck it! He has probably slept with most of Cardiff by now so if you can't beat 'em then join 'em. The end of the night came and Wallace invited him back to ours to continue the party. Apart from a kiss and a cuddle nothing more happened between us. I felt quite sorry for him in the morning when he tried to take it further and I ran to the bathroom to grab a shower before work. I just couldn't do it! It wasn't me. I couldn't fully rebound as I was still grieving for the relationship I had just come out of. But then I could just be in the minority with this view and people could be reading this and thinking what a fucking lightweight pussy!
But I could see the attraction. I guess it is the same with one night stands. You get a feeling of want and an attraction, even if it is only for a night that helps to boost your self esteem. I mean at the end of the day, we all feel validated knowing that someone out there finds us attractive right? I lived with a girl in my last year of uni, The Hussy, who got her validation through a string of one night stands. There was always a different guy coming and going from her bedroom and I remember one night, myself and Hobbit having to seek sanctuary in the livingroom after a particularly noisy conquest woke us both us. The perks of student living and thin walls I guess. When I asked her about why she could never settle down into a relationship she explained that it freaked her out. The thought of committing to one person was a lot harder for her than meaningless sex with lots of strangers.
I guess everyone is different and who am I to really judge how people react to breaking up. I just hope for his sake that Straight Edge isn't trying to mask his feelings after this break up by needing to get into a new relationship straight away as that is running away from the issue, rather than facing it head on.
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Sunday, 21 April 2013
Wednesday, 13 March 2013
This is the dawning of the age of aquarius....
..... so the other night I did something drastic... I deleted my plenty of fish account. After having endured hilarious and sometimes damn right creepy conversations with men on there since August 2012, it began time to start a new chapter in my life. It was time to reel my line back in and place it in storage as I have finally met someone willing enough to put up with me on a long term basis and bagged myself a Toy Boy!
Now, those of you who know me will find this situation funny. I have always vowed that my next boyfriend would be older than me, have his own place and take care of me financially, but I guess in reality, men do not come with a check list. He has completely blind sided me and I just feel so alive with him. He makes me go all gooey inside and all the other romantic cliches you see in bad rom com movies.Maybe it is my barriers coming down in my old age but it has been a very long time since I have felt like this. Whilst in the past I may have thought these kind of feelings had resurfaced, I now know that they were just braxton hicks, getting me prepared for the time when I really and truly would feel utterly alive and back to the old me. I keep finding myself laughing at the simplest of thing or I will catch myself smiling thinking about something he has said or done. I know! I know! I am making myself feel a little sick by how romantically gooey I have become but I just can't help it. I blame the Toy Boy anyway. It's all his fault! But I'm glad of it at the same time.
Now whilst I am enjoying my rose tinted haze, I am completely aware that we are in the honeymoon stage of our relationship, where everything is sunshine, lollipops and blue skies , I am embracing this feeling and enjoying it nonetheless. One of the best things is that he gets on well with my family (although he loves a 'your mother' joke! He really does love the older ladies) and equally with the friends of mine he has met. He has even accepted with ease my close friendship with the Husband Larry, where other men in the past have not been able to accept it.
So for now I am enjoying the fun and flirty stage of our relationship. I am sure there will be crazy fights and passionate make up sessions to come (sorry, too much information I know, but I just couldn't help myself) but for now I guess we can only sit back and watch and see which path this whirlwind romance leads us down :)
I guess it is true what they say about having to kiss a few frogs before finding Prince Charming. So to all my single ladies out there, don't rush to be in a relationship, just sit back and relax and when you stop looking you will finally be able to see him. That's what happened with me anyway!
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Now, those of you who know me will find this situation funny. I have always vowed that my next boyfriend would be older than me, have his own place and take care of me financially, but I guess in reality, men do not come with a check list. He has completely blind sided me and I just feel so alive with him. He makes me go all gooey inside and all the other romantic cliches you see in bad rom com movies.Maybe it is my barriers coming down in my old age but it has been a very long time since I have felt like this. Whilst in the past I may have thought these kind of feelings had resurfaced, I now know that they were just braxton hicks, getting me prepared for the time when I really and truly would feel utterly alive and back to the old me. I keep finding myself laughing at the simplest of thing or I will catch myself smiling thinking about something he has said or done. I know! I know! I am making myself feel a little sick by how romantically gooey I have become but I just can't help it. I blame the Toy Boy anyway. It's all his fault! But I'm glad of it at the same time.
Now whilst I am enjoying my rose tinted haze, I am completely aware that we are in the honeymoon stage of our relationship, where everything is sunshine, lollipops and blue skies , I am embracing this feeling and enjoying it nonetheless. One of the best things is that he gets on well with my family (although he loves a 'your mother' joke! He really does love the older ladies) and equally with the friends of mine he has met. He has even accepted with ease my close friendship with the Husband Larry, where other men in the past have not been able to accept it.
So for now I am enjoying the fun and flirty stage of our relationship. I am sure there will be crazy fights and passionate make up sessions to come (sorry, too much information I know, but I just couldn't help myself) but for now I guess we can only sit back and watch and see which path this whirlwind romance leads us down :)
I guess it is true what they say about having to kiss a few frogs before finding Prince Charming. So to all my single ladies out there, don't rush to be in a relationship, just sit back and relax and when you stop looking you will finally be able to see him. That's what happened with me anyway!
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Tuesday, 13 November 2012
You're so spexy....
... So recently I have started to notice that I am becoming more and more attracted to guys who wear glasses. There is no pattern to what the guy physically looks like, but the addition of glasses seems to get the blood pumping and the heart racing more than it used to. I first noticed this strange new attraction when I went to see the new Bond film - Sky Fall, with Larry. The actor who plays Q (Ben Whishaw) is not your typical heart throb, but I couldn't help but drool when he appeared on screen. Larry couldn't resist mocking me for my sudden lust for this man and claimed that the only reason I fancied him was because he wore glasses. LIES I announced! I fancy him because he is a hottie. So... when I got home I proceeded to do a very teenage girl thing and google imaged the actor to see more pictures of him in his sexy specs and to prove to Larry that he was wrong. Unfortunately, it seems he isn't a speccy in real life and my instant attraction to him faded very fast. It was the loss of the spectacles that lost this lady her lust and annoyingly proved Larry right. Yes Larry, I am admitting you were right, so print this off and frame it, as I will never admit it again.
Then last night I was having a girly catch up at Miss Koko's house and I told her the premise of my latest blog. To my surprise she said she agreed with me, (which is really shocking as most the time we don't agree on things when it comes to men.) She agreed that the addition of glasses on a man suddenly made him even hotter. She told me that her boyfriend doesn't like wearing his glasses, so sticks to his contact lenses when out and about, but she thinks that when he wears his glasses it makes him look super sexy as he looks really intelligent and smart in them. Hurrah! I am not alone in this speccy loving. I then told her how I felt the same about BeB. On our last date he changed from his contact lenses into his glasses to drive me home and although I find him attractive without his glasses on, when he put them on it was like a chorus of angels started singing and here was this even hotter guy standing before me. So naturally, we then got chatting about famous people in glasses and the first person we both said was Superman. As Clark Kent he is so much hotter, than when he is saving the world as Superman and the only difference, (apart from the spandex and cape) is the loss of his glasses. See...
Versus
Ok, so technically I could have found a picture of Dean Cain with his top on wearing glasses, but where would the fun be in that? He was probably the first bespectacled guy that most girls thought was worthy of being a poster on their bedroom walls or the beginning of a school girl crush at tea times, (as that is when I remember watching Superman on BBC 2 whilst eating dinner).
So after another google search (god bless google), it seems that glasses on men are becoming quite the fashion accessory. Images of Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake and Brad Pitt, but to name a few, all popped up wearing glasses and looking H.O.T. However, images of George Bush, Heston Blumenthal and Kanye West also popped up with their glasses on and my theory failed. I was not attracted to them at all. In fact it grossed me out a bit and seemed to burst the glasses loving bubble momentarily. I reasoned that maybe it is due to the fact that I am not attracted to them without glasses on, so the addition of glasses did nothing for me, but whatever it was my feet stayed firmly on the ground. However, Women too seem to be wearing glasses more and more. Gone is the stereotyping of glasses as being geeky and a massive NO NO and enter the age where geek chic is in and even public "icons" (can't say she is one of mine), like Victoria Beckham are embracing the specs and even designing their own ranges. So it got me thinking about whether the reverse is true? Put a girl in a pair of glasses and does she become hotter? Instantly, the stereotypical slutty School Girl or Librarian look came to mind, where the women seductively perch the glasses on the end of their nose and maybe bites her lip and this seems to send men crazy. However, in reality, I am not sure the same can be said. Thinking of how I look in my glasses, I would say that it is not the hottest look. Whether I am in my massive geek chic glasses or my sensible "smarter" glasses, I think I just look the same but with less of a squint due to actually being able to see. I suppose it depends on the woman wearing the glasses as to whether she becomes hotter or not.
Now those sad people (like myself), who love watching the X Factor will have noticed that when it comes to the make overs before the live shows, glasses never appear on a contestant. For example, James Arthur this year entered the competition with some amazing overly large glasses, but cut to the live shows and they have never appeared on stage. Even Gary Barlow pointed out that he seemed to have lost a little of his identity due to the make over process. I can't say I fancy James Arthur as he reminds me of my brother, but he certainly looks better with his glasses on as it completes his quirkier look, so long live the glasses I say!!!!!
Now, I am sure I am not alone in this love of a bespectacled men and I am certainly going to embrace the four eyed look (being a glasses wearer myself I can say that without it being an insult). But how many of you out there are secret speccy lovers? I think it is time to speak out and be proud of this slightly quirky love! so shout it from the rooftops! I LIKE MEN WHO WEAR GLASSES! See doesn't it feel better admitting it out loud?
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Then last night I was having a girly catch up at Miss Koko's house and I told her the premise of my latest blog. To my surprise she said she agreed with me, (which is really shocking as most the time we don't agree on things when it comes to men.) She agreed that the addition of glasses on a man suddenly made him even hotter. She told me that her boyfriend doesn't like wearing his glasses, so sticks to his contact lenses when out and about, but she thinks that when he wears his glasses it makes him look super sexy as he looks really intelligent and smart in them. Hurrah! I am not alone in this speccy loving. I then told her how I felt the same about BeB. On our last date he changed from his contact lenses into his glasses to drive me home and although I find him attractive without his glasses on, when he put them on it was like a chorus of angels started singing and here was this even hotter guy standing before me. So naturally, we then got chatting about famous people in glasses and the first person we both said was Superman. As Clark Kent he is so much hotter, than when he is saving the world as Superman and the only difference, (apart from the spandex and cape) is the loss of his glasses. See...
 | |||
| (I reserve no rights to the copyright of these photos) |
So after another google search (god bless google), it seems that glasses on men are becoming quite the fashion accessory. Images of Johnny Depp, Justin Timberlake and Brad Pitt, but to name a few, all popped up wearing glasses and looking H.O.T. However, images of George Bush, Heston Blumenthal and Kanye West also popped up with their glasses on and my theory failed. I was not attracted to them at all. In fact it grossed me out a bit and seemed to burst the glasses loving bubble momentarily. I reasoned that maybe it is due to the fact that I am not attracted to them without glasses on, so the addition of glasses did nothing for me, but whatever it was my feet stayed firmly on the ground. However, Women too seem to be wearing glasses more and more. Gone is the stereotyping of glasses as being geeky and a massive NO NO and enter the age where geek chic is in and even public "icons" (can't say she is one of mine), like Victoria Beckham are embracing the specs and even designing their own ranges. So it got me thinking about whether the reverse is true? Put a girl in a pair of glasses and does she become hotter? Instantly, the stereotypical slutty School Girl or Librarian look came to mind, where the women seductively perch the glasses on the end of their nose and maybe bites her lip and this seems to send men crazy. However, in reality, I am not sure the same can be said. Thinking of how I look in my glasses, I would say that it is not the hottest look. Whether I am in my massive geek chic glasses or my sensible "smarter" glasses, I think I just look the same but with less of a squint due to actually being able to see. I suppose it depends on the woman wearing the glasses as to whether she becomes hotter or not.
Now those sad people (like myself), who love watching the X Factor will have noticed that when it comes to the make overs before the live shows, glasses never appear on a contestant. For example, James Arthur this year entered the competition with some amazing overly large glasses, but cut to the live shows and they have never appeared on stage. Even Gary Barlow pointed out that he seemed to have lost a little of his identity due to the make over process. I can't say I fancy James Arthur as he reminds me of my brother, but he certainly looks better with his glasses on as it completes his quirkier look, so long live the glasses I say!!!!!
Now, I am sure I am not alone in this love of a bespectacled men and I am certainly going to embrace the four eyed look (being a glasses wearer myself I can say that without it being an insult). But how many of you out there are secret speccy lovers? I think it is time to speak out and be proud of this slightly quirky love! so shout it from the rooftops! I LIKE MEN WHO WEAR GLASSES! See doesn't it feel better admitting it out loud?
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Saturday, 3 November 2012
Introducing Millie Rose
So, last Sunday I finally won the war with the Mother and got to finally finish the transformation into a crazy cat lady by becoming a Mum to a 7 week old Kitten. I already had the rocking chair and I can knit a basic stitch, but all that was missing was the kitty.
Now anyone who follows me on Twitter (@rndmquirkygirl) is probably sick to death of hearing about Millie. From the moment I knew I was getting her, pictures have been tweeted and status updates have spammed everyone's news feeds. I promise that once the novelty has worn off, so will the over-tweeting. But in her defence she is freaking cute. She is a little shit when hyper or attacking myself or the laptop, but when all sleepy and cwtchy, she is the cutest kitten ever. (I know I am bias, but when you see her pics you will agree too. She has even won people over who are more dog people than cat people).
So... here is Millie Rose
She can be very timid when she wants to be, but a nightmare when hyper. Although at night she properly snuggles up to you... until she wants to play and then there is no rest for the wicked. I feel like a zombie due to the lack of sleep when she wakes at 5am and wants to attack everything. By 6am she falls back to sleep, whilst I am wide awake. It is what I imagine having to do night feeds for new borns is like. We also have a 7 year old cat Poppy, who is finding it hard to adjust with the menace that is Millie. I could watch the two of them interact for hours, as it is very amusing watching a tiny kitten try and attack a grown female cat. Over time I am sure they will be fine together, but right now there is still a little tension between them.
Right I have to cut this blog short as Millie has just woken up and decided to attack my dress and the laptop as she is not getting my full attention. I predict she is going to be a little diva cat!!!
Peace out
Random Quirky Girl x
Now anyone who follows me on Twitter (@rndmquirkygirl) is probably sick to death of hearing about Millie. From the moment I knew I was getting her, pictures have been tweeted and status updates have spammed everyone's news feeds. I promise that once the novelty has worn off, so will the over-tweeting. But in her defence she is freaking cute. She is a little shit when hyper or attacking myself or the laptop, but when all sleepy and cwtchy, she is the cutest kitten ever. (I know I am bias, but when you see her pics you will agree too. She has even won people over who are more dog people than cat people).
So... here is Millie Rose
She can be very timid when she wants to be, but a nightmare when hyper. Although at night she properly snuggles up to you... until she wants to play and then there is no rest for the wicked. I feel like a zombie due to the lack of sleep when she wakes at 5am and wants to attack everything. By 6am she falls back to sleep, whilst I am wide awake. It is what I imagine having to do night feeds for new borns is like. We also have a 7 year old cat Poppy, who is finding it hard to adjust with the menace that is Millie. I could watch the two of them interact for hours, as it is very amusing watching a tiny kitten try and attack a grown female cat. Over time I am sure they will be fine together, but right now there is still a little tension between them.
Right I have to cut this blog short as Millie has just woken up and decided to attack my dress and the laptop as she is not getting my full attention. I predict she is going to be a little diva cat!!!
Peace out
Random Quirky Girl x
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Dating Little Boy Blue
So, I have been on two dates with Blue Eye Boy (BeB) and thought a blog was due. Now, normally I am not cautious when blogging, as I know the guy won't end up reading it, so I can't really offend him. With BeB it is different as he knows about my blog and has also read some of the entries. He also knows I will be blogging about him and on the surface he is fine with it. So, with that in mind, I better not be too critical of him or there might not be a third date. He will only text me anyway telling me I am an "asshat". (Apparently this is an insult :S I had never heard of it before and even when he explained it to me, it didn't make sense. But I have been called a lot worse in the past, so I won't complain too much).
So it was decided for our first date that we would go for a few cocktails in Cardiff and get to know one another a little better. BeB thought it would be a fun idea to keep the venue a surprise. Now, like a lot of people out there, I hate surprises. So I asked for a clue to the bar we were going to. I got the clue "the name uses alliteration". Time to get into detective mode. I adopted my Sherlock Holmes hat and magnifying glass in hand I entered 'Bars in Cardiff' into google search and a website popped up with a list of every bar in the Cardiff area. Well that was easier than I thought! Starting alphabetically, I worked my way through the list, sending my guesses to him. However, none of them were right. Cue my puzzled face and onset wrinkles as I pondered over what it could be. Then, as I was falling asleep that night "Pica Pica" came to mind and as it turned out, this night premonition proved to be the location of our first date. I was relieved to find out where we were going just to make sure I dressed appropriately. There is nothing worse than walking into a nice place and looking very out of place. So we met at Cardiff Central.. and he was late. Considering I had to travel into Cardiff and he was already in Cardiff, you think he would have been on time! (Although in fairness I missed the first train by a minute so might have been 20 minutes late myself.... but still, you should never keep a lady waiting). So we wondered over to Pica Pica and straight away the banter started. He was instantly easy to be around. As we arrived at Pica Pica we had a minute to spare before happy hour cocktails ended. So we took advantage of this and ordered two cocktails - a dirty sanchez and a french martini - quite girly looking in a cosmo glass. (http://www.picapicacardiff.com/index2.html for the full menu). Now like a gentleman, BeB paid for the drinks. Normally, the mini feminist in me would have objected to his paying for them, but she was surprisingly quiet and just let him do it. She must have been having an off day or something as normally there is no stopping her, or maybe I am just mellowing in my old age. So we grabbed a table and got chatting. It was just so effortless with him. We spoke about everything and anything. Even him being homeless (sorry had to include it as it still makes me laugh). He isn't really homeless. He just had to move back home whilst the paperwork on his flat is being completed. But I was a very nice date and offered to lend him my super cool Cath Kidston stripey teepee tent so he would be a stylish hobo, but he declined. I think it was the fact that the flag got stolen in Reading Festival 2010 that stopped him going for it :( sad times. Anyway, I digress. So it was decided another round was in order before I had to head home. I got to choose again and this time I ordered a Zombie, just because it sounded cool. This time I went up to pay, but he stopped me and went over to charm the bar lady into making us more cocktails. I was getting quite tipsy at this point, so I was quite conscious about going from tipsy to drunk as I am a bit of a light weight. Also I don't think it is makes a very good impression being drunk on a first date... unless the date is horrific and it is the only way to get through it. However, the date was going well and I wanted to remember it. Then the Zombie happened! I do not know what it was about this drink, but walking back to the train station, I realised I was quite drunk. Maybe it was mixing all the different spirits, but this one was destroying my tipsy state, so much so that I had the worst headache on the way home and I swear the train was spinning at one point. Either that or BeB slipped something into my drink ... he has the potential to be shifty like that. Anyway, it was time for me to head home and BeB walked me back to the station. After a brief hug, I zig zagged back to the train platform. Before we parted he asked me for a second date and I told him he had to read my blog to find out my answer. Now we all know that I am a pretty rubbish blogger for posting, so the next day I put him out of his misery and agreed to a second date.
So, the second date was pretty similar to that of Skater Boy and we went to the cinema. Now, you would have thought I would have learnt from my mistakes and chosen the film this time, but yet again I let the man decide. However, this time I was crafty and booked our tickets in advance (mainly so I could pay for them :D, the feminist was more switched on this time). So we made our way to Cineworld to see the film "Looper" and in fairness it was a pretty good film. Although, there was a bit where a hobo came out of the long grass and I was weak with laughter for about 15 minutes, which made BeB sulk like a little girl. Men can be so funny about being laughed at for being a hobo. Anyway, I did my usual cinema test and waited to see if he would make a move. Beforehand, he had joked that he would do the yawn and lean move on me during the film. Sadly, he wussed out and didn't do it (although it would have probably set me off laughing again at the sheer cheesiness of the move, so maybe it was a good thing). However, he did make a move. About half way through the movie he started to fidget and the next thing I knew, his hand had rested on my arm, which led to holding hands and him playing with my friendship bracelet on my wrist (which broke today after 2 and a half years on my wrist, so I am totally blaming him for weakening it). It may sound really teenage and gooey, but that gesture was much more romantic than if he had gone in for a grand gesture. It is the little things that count I think. After the movie we decided to head down the Bay to the Red Dragon Centre for a game of pool and air hockey before he dropped me home. (This was another small gesture that meant a lot as dropping me home was just adding to his already long journey back to Ebbw Vale). He beat me at pool, but I whooped his ass at air hockey, so I left feeling a bit smug. On the drive home the chatter continued and he pointed out his old and new flat down the Bay and it was all just so relaxed. Now, I am not the best person when it comes to directions and I had warned him I would probably end up getting us lost on the way home, but when it came down to it, it was the route home from Chepstow, so I knew it pretty well from window gazing when Mum drove home. However, BeB didn't believe me and actually got his iPhone 5 out and double checked. This did not impress me as it was just drive straight like I kept saying. Man points were deducted for that! So after getting home with my faultless directions, we pulled up outside mine and shared a cheeky goodbye kiss. However, it was a bit hurried as what he didn't know was that I was busting for the loo, so it must have seemed like I was running away straight after the kiss, but it was either leave or pee myself and I knew which one I could live with more. However, I walked/ran through the door with a massive smile on my face and after a quick loo stop had an inquisition from my Mum and Moo about my date.
So we have been texting again now for the past week and a preliminary third date has been set for this Saturday. However, things have seemed a little weird between us since the second date. I can't really explain why, but there is this weird vibe when we text, but that could just be me reading into something that isn't there. So this third date, I suppose will determine whether there is something actually there or not. I quite like him, but there is still that insecure little voice at the back of my mind warning me not to get hurt by another guy. Although, after reading this I might find myself back in the sea with all the other fish. Then I won't have to worry about anything apart from turning into a crazy cat lady. (This is not far off as I have a rocking chair, I can knit (kind of) and I get my kitten Millie on Sunday so the dream could be a reality soon :p )
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
So it was decided for our first date that we would go for a few cocktails in Cardiff and get to know one another a little better. BeB thought it would be a fun idea to keep the venue a surprise. Now, like a lot of people out there, I hate surprises. So I asked for a clue to the bar we were going to. I got the clue "the name uses alliteration". Time to get into detective mode. I adopted my Sherlock Holmes hat and magnifying glass in hand I entered 'Bars in Cardiff' into google search and a website popped up with a list of every bar in the Cardiff area. Well that was easier than I thought! Starting alphabetically, I worked my way through the list, sending my guesses to him. However, none of them were right. Cue my puzzled face and onset wrinkles as I pondered over what it could be. Then, as I was falling asleep that night "Pica Pica" came to mind and as it turned out, this night premonition proved to be the location of our first date. I was relieved to find out where we were going just to make sure I dressed appropriately. There is nothing worse than walking into a nice place and looking very out of place. So we met at Cardiff Central.. and he was late. Considering I had to travel into Cardiff and he was already in Cardiff, you think he would have been on time! (Although in fairness I missed the first train by a minute so might have been 20 minutes late myself.... but still, you should never keep a lady waiting). So we wondered over to Pica Pica and straight away the banter started. He was instantly easy to be around. As we arrived at Pica Pica we had a minute to spare before happy hour cocktails ended. So we took advantage of this and ordered two cocktails - a dirty sanchez and a french martini - quite girly looking in a cosmo glass. (http://www.picapicacardiff.com/index2.html for the full menu). Now like a gentleman, BeB paid for the drinks. Normally, the mini feminist in me would have objected to his paying for them, but she was surprisingly quiet and just let him do it. She must have been having an off day or something as normally there is no stopping her, or maybe I am just mellowing in my old age. So we grabbed a table and got chatting. It was just so effortless with him. We spoke about everything and anything. Even him being homeless (sorry had to include it as it still makes me laugh). He isn't really homeless. He just had to move back home whilst the paperwork on his flat is being completed. But I was a very nice date and offered to lend him my super cool Cath Kidston stripey teepee tent so he would be a stylish hobo, but he declined. I think it was the fact that the flag got stolen in Reading Festival 2010 that stopped him going for it :( sad times. Anyway, I digress. So it was decided another round was in order before I had to head home. I got to choose again and this time I ordered a Zombie, just because it sounded cool. This time I went up to pay, but he stopped me and went over to charm the bar lady into making us more cocktails. I was getting quite tipsy at this point, so I was quite conscious about going from tipsy to drunk as I am a bit of a light weight. Also I don't think it is makes a very good impression being drunk on a first date... unless the date is horrific and it is the only way to get through it. However, the date was going well and I wanted to remember it. Then the Zombie happened! I do not know what it was about this drink, but walking back to the train station, I realised I was quite drunk. Maybe it was mixing all the different spirits, but this one was destroying my tipsy state, so much so that I had the worst headache on the way home and I swear the train was spinning at one point. Either that or BeB slipped something into my drink ... he has the potential to be shifty like that. Anyway, it was time for me to head home and BeB walked me back to the station. After a brief hug, I zig zagged back to the train platform. Before we parted he asked me for a second date and I told him he had to read my blog to find out my answer. Now we all know that I am a pretty rubbish blogger for posting, so the next day I put him out of his misery and agreed to a second date.
So, the second date was pretty similar to that of Skater Boy and we went to the cinema. Now, you would have thought I would have learnt from my mistakes and chosen the film this time, but yet again I let the man decide. However, this time I was crafty and booked our tickets in advance (mainly so I could pay for them :D, the feminist was more switched on this time). So we made our way to Cineworld to see the film "Looper" and in fairness it was a pretty good film. Although, there was a bit where a hobo came out of the long grass and I was weak with laughter for about 15 minutes, which made BeB sulk like a little girl. Men can be so funny about being laughed at for being a hobo. Anyway, I did my usual cinema test and waited to see if he would make a move. Beforehand, he had joked that he would do the yawn and lean move on me during the film. Sadly, he wussed out and didn't do it (although it would have probably set me off laughing again at the sheer cheesiness of the move, so maybe it was a good thing). However, he did make a move. About half way through the movie he started to fidget and the next thing I knew, his hand had rested on my arm, which led to holding hands and him playing with my friendship bracelet on my wrist (which broke today after 2 and a half years on my wrist, so I am totally blaming him for weakening it). It may sound really teenage and gooey, but that gesture was much more romantic than if he had gone in for a grand gesture. It is the little things that count I think. After the movie we decided to head down the Bay to the Red Dragon Centre for a game of pool and air hockey before he dropped me home. (This was another small gesture that meant a lot as dropping me home was just adding to his already long journey back to Ebbw Vale). He beat me at pool, but I whooped his ass at air hockey, so I left feeling a bit smug. On the drive home the chatter continued and he pointed out his old and new flat down the Bay and it was all just so relaxed. Now, I am not the best person when it comes to directions and I had warned him I would probably end up getting us lost on the way home, but when it came down to it, it was the route home from Chepstow, so I knew it pretty well from window gazing when Mum drove home. However, BeB didn't believe me and actually got his iPhone 5 out and double checked. This did not impress me as it was just drive straight like I kept saying. Man points were deducted for that! So after getting home with my faultless directions, we pulled up outside mine and shared a cheeky goodbye kiss. However, it was a bit hurried as what he didn't know was that I was busting for the loo, so it must have seemed like I was running away straight after the kiss, but it was either leave or pee myself and I knew which one I could live with more. However, I walked/ran through the door with a massive smile on my face and after a quick loo stop had an inquisition from my Mum and Moo about my date.
So we have been texting again now for the past week and a preliminary third date has been set for this Saturday. However, things have seemed a little weird between us since the second date. I can't really explain why, but there is this weird vibe when we text, but that could just be me reading into something that isn't there. So this third date, I suppose will determine whether there is something actually there or not. I quite like him, but there is still that insecure little voice at the back of my mind warning me not to get hurt by another guy. Although, after reading this I might find myself back in the sea with all the other fish. Then I won't have to worry about anything apart from turning into a crazy cat lady. (This is not far off as I have a rocking chair, I can knit (kind of) and I get my kitten Millie on Sunday so the dream could be a reality soon :p )
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Saturday, 29 September 2012
He was a Sk8er Boi, she said see you later boy...
Now Skater Boy and I got chatting to on Hot or Not. I have been a member of this site since I was 17, as me and Miss Koko thought it would be an interesting social experiment to see if a slutty profile (mine) or an innocent profile (hers) would get the most hits and attention. Even back in school we were too curious for our own good! Anyway that is another story...
So since deciding to see what online dating is like, I re-en stated my account to check out what the people were like on there. I updated the photos and the about me and waited to see if anyone was interested. Within the first 24 hours me and Skater Boy got chatting. I think we were chatting non-stop until 5am, although I didn't notice the time until an email came through on my phone and I noticed the time on that. It was crazy. Although I think the two cups of coffee I had drunk after 3pm, was one of the reasons I was so wide awake. I had never felt such an ease or an instant connection with a guy like I had with him. I was actually excited the next night to chat to him. So the next night came and went and so did the non-stop chatter. So I bit the bullet and messaged him my number. It was a spur of the moment thing, but it just felt right. Then came the waiting for him to text and my god did he make me wait. It wasn't until the evening of the next day that I got a message from him. I thought he wasn't interested in me, so had put him to the back of my mind, but I was super excited when I received his text. Now like stated in the song, we couldn't be more different. He is still a full on skater boy in looks and lifestyle. And I am more quirky and girly with my fashion sense. He is into cars, skating and hanging out at his friends houses until the early morning and I like shopping, reading and going for coffee with friends. However, despite our differences there was something about him. Well, they do say opposites attract after all. So after a few weeks of texting back and for and getting to know each other more, we arranged our first date.
So, for our first date we arranged to meet in my hometown and go for a walk and a chat. I was quite nervous in the morning as we weren't meeting until the afternoon, so I took the opportunity to make the most of the morning to get ready and make myself look pretty, well not Barbie pretty, but scruffy me pretty. We arranged to meet on the sea front, as it was a pretty easy location for him to find. I left the house early and I was going to call in on Miss Koko in work, for some a last minute pep talk, but I ended up bumping into Skater Boy instead. He had gotten off the bus at the wrong stop and was aimlessly walking around hoping to bump into me. I also got a bbm from Miss Koko saying she had seen him walk past the shop and he didn't seem bad looking from what she saw. God bless technology and your best friend rating the guy before you have even met him. So we went on this epic walk to the beach and all around the town. We talked about anything and everything and it was easy being in his company. So after he left, I went round Miss Koko's for a girly post-date gossip. I was quite excited for our second date :)
So a week later our second date was confirmed. We decided on a cinema date after I finished work. We had been texting all day and he had very gallantly told me he was paying for our entire date. Now I am not the type of girl to have a guy pay for the entire date. I always believe in 50/50 or I'll pay for it all. I can be a stubborn feminist when I want to be o:) But I do like it when a guy offers. If nothing else it shows he is not tight with his money. However, in the end, I gave my feminist half a night off and I let him pay for the cinema tickets. Apparently, male pride gets very dented if you don't let a man pay. My only condition to him paying, was that he also had to pick the film. This was a way of stopping us standing there for ages trying to decide. He opted for 'Total Recall'. BAD CHOICE! The film was awful! It should have been renamed "Total Crap". So we chose our seats and settled down to wait for the film to start. I know I shouldn't, but whenever I am in the cinema I can't help but put my feet up on the seats if no one is sitting in front of me. So I was sitting there, feet up and waiting for the film to start, when Skater Boy turns to me and points out that I have very small feet. Now, I might not be the tallest of girls, but I have size 6 feet, so I like to think that that is a standard girl shoe size. It is certainly the shoe size that sells out fastest in shops. However, I was starting to see a pattern developing, as on our first date we were walking and he suddenly comes out with, "you're quite short aren't you". I am 5ft 4!!!! Not that tall, but not that short either. His charm technique really needs to be worked on :P So back to the terrible film. It was dull and boring and at one point I was tempted to sneak in a cheeky nap, but he caught me. Although he thought I was crying, not attempting to have a snooze. I admitted the film was terrible and he did say we could leave. But I was determined to see this film out. Plus I was curious to see if he would make a move. I'm afraid to say he didn't. Not even the old stretch and yawn technique. I was quite disappointed. When the film finished I had to head for the train home, so we walked to the station together. My train didn't come in for another 15 minutes so we sat on the station platform chatting some more. When it was time to say goodbye, we hugged and departed. Still no attempt to make a move on me. Now I know it can work both ways, but I am an old fashioned girl in that respect and think the guy should make the first move. Even if it was just hand holding walking back to the station, it would have been something. Now Skater Boy is quite shy, so I wasn't expecting to be swept off my feet, like the women in old black and white films, but I did kind of expect a quick peck on the lips. I think it was at that point I realised the initial spark was starting to fizzle out.
We continued to text for a few more weeks, but the spark seemed to be there less and less. He is an amazing guy and will treat any lady like a Princess, of that I am sure, but we were just not suited in the end. We have said we will stay friends and I hope we do, as he is such a nice guy and can easily make me laugh, but just not my Prince Charming to sweep this Princess off her feet :P
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
So since deciding to see what online dating is like, I re-en stated my account to check out what the people were like on there. I updated the photos and the about me and waited to see if anyone was interested. Within the first 24 hours me and Skater Boy got chatting. I think we were chatting non-stop until 5am, although I didn't notice the time until an email came through on my phone and I noticed the time on that. It was crazy. Although I think the two cups of coffee I had drunk after 3pm, was one of the reasons I was so wide awake. I had never felt such an ease or an instant connection with a guy like I had with him. I was actually excited the next night to chat to him. So the next night came and went and so did the non-stop chatter. So I bit the bullet and messaged him my number. It was a spur of the moment thing, but it just felt right. Then came the waiting for him to text and my god did he make me wait. It wasn't until the evening of the next day that I got a message from him. I thought he wasn't interested in me, so had put him to the back of my mind, but I was super excited when I received his text. Now like stated in the song, we couldn't be more different. He is still a full on skater boy in looks and lifestyle. And I am more quirky and girly with my fashion sense. He is into cars, skating and hanging out at his friends houses until the early morning and I like shopping, reading and going for coffee with friends. However, despite our differences there was something about him. Well, they do say opposites attract after all. So after a few weeks of texting back and for and getting to know each other more, we arranged our first date.
So, for our first date we arranged to meet in my hometown and go for a walk and a chat. I was quite nervous in the morning as we weren't meeting until the afternoon, so I took the opportunity to make the most of the morning to get ready and make myself look pretty, well not Barbie pretty, but scruffy me pretty. We arranged to meet on the sea front, as it was a pretty easy location for him to find. I left the house early and I was going to call in on Miss Koko in work, for some a last minute pep talk, but I ended up bumping into Skater Boy instead. He had gotten off the bus at the wrong stop and was aimlessly walking around hoping to bump into me. I also got a bbm from Miss Koko saying she had seen him walk past the shop and he didn't seem bad looking from what she saw. God bless technology and your best friend rating the guy before you have even met him. So we went on this epic walk to the beach and all around the town. We talked about anything and everything and it was easy being in his company. So after he left, I went round Miss Koko's for a girly post-date gossip. I was quite excited for our second date :)
So a week later our second date was confirmed. We decided on a cinema date after I finished work. We had been texting all day and he had very gallantly told me he was paying for our entire date. Now I am not the type of girl to have a guy pay for the entire date. I always believe in 50/50 or I'll pay for it all. I can be a stubborn feminist when I want to be o:) But I do like it when a guy offers. If nothing else it shows he is not tight with his money. However, in the end, I gave my feminist half a night off and I let him pay for the cinema tickets. Apparently, male pride gets very dented if you don't let a man pay. My only condition to him paying, was that he also had to pick the film. This was a way of stopping us standing there for ages trying to decide. He opted for 'Total Recall'. BAD CHOICE! The film was awful! It should have been renamed "Total Crap". So we chose our seats and settled down to wait for the film to start. I know I shouldn't, but whenever I am in the cinema I can't help but put my feet up on the seats if no one is sitting in front of me. So I was sitting there, feet up and waiting for the film to start, when Skater Boy turns to me and points out that I have very small feet. Now, I might not be the tallest of girls, but I have size 6 feet, so I like to think that that is a standard girl shoe size. It is certainly the shoe size that sells out fastest in shops. However, I was starting to see a pattern developing, as on our first date we were walking and he suddenly comes out with, "you're quite short aren't you". I am 5ft 4!!!! Not that tall, but not that short either. His charm technique really needs to be worked on :P So back to the terrible film. It was dull and boring and at one point I was tempted to sneak in a cheeky nap, but he caught me. Although he thought I was crying, not attempting to have a snooze. I admitted the film was terrible and he did say we could leave. But I was determined to see this film out. Plus I was curious to see if he would make a move. I'm afraid to say he didn't. Not even the old stretch and yawn technique. I was quite disappointed. When the film finished I had to head for the train home, so we walked to the station together. My train didn't come in for another 15 minutes so we sat on the station platform chatting some more. When it was time to say goodbye, we hugged and departed. Still no attempt to make a move on me. Now I know it can work both ways, but I am an old fashioned girl in that respect and think the guy should make the first move. Even if it was just hand holding walking back to the station, it would have been something. Now Skater Boy is quite shy, so I wasn't expecting to be swept off my feet, like the women in old black and white films, but I did kind of expect a quick peck on the lips. I think it was at that point I realised the initial spark was starting to fizzle out.
We continued to text for a few more weeks, but the spark seemed to be there less and less. He is an amazing guy and will treat any lady like a Princess, of that I am sure, but we were just not suited in the end. We have said we will stay friends and I hope we do, as he is such a nice guy and can easily make me laugh, but just not my Prince Charming to sweep this Princess off her feet :P
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
The Story so far...
..... So I have been internet dating now for roughly two months and what a roller coaster it is becoming!
From BDSM and threesome invites, to men going off on one even before the date has even been set, it is certainly an eye opener into the world of internet dating.
Now internet dating seems to have quite a bad reputation in people's minds, as being a place to basically arrange sex with strangers.And whilst I have had some sexual offers suggested to me, the majority of men on there seem to genuinely be looking to date and eventually get into a relationship with someone. If you tell someone you are signed up to a dating website, you get a sort of 'poor thing' look from them. It is like you have exhausted attempting to date in the real world and you are now resorting to finding someone to date using the virtual realm. Some crazy cat lady spinster, who is so unlucky in love she has to resort to dating webistes like a sad act. However, more and more people are meeting through internet sites and lasting longer than those who haven't. If you think about it though, how is it that different from meeting someone on a night out? You are both strangers, but after chatting for a while you exchange numbers and then hope they text you the next day. Well with internet dating you get to know someone, exchange numbers and then arrange a date. Only difference is you're going in slightly blind to who they are. Although social networking websites reveal a lot about a person before you meet them. Sometimes can work to the potential dates disadvantage.I never add someone to my personal facebook account until a date is on the cards. It is doing marvels to my twitter account though! My followers are gradually going up. Anything to plug this blog I suppose :P
I was thinking the other day, (very dangerous now I am blonde), that internet dating is like an interview process. The dating profile is like you CV. After initially judging the person on their picture, (which, lets face it, looks are the first thing that will attract you to someone), you scroll down to read about them. After weighing up whether the profile appeals to you, you will either send a message to them, or will have received a message from them. Then after a few messages back and for, sussing them out, (the interview process), you will decide whether to commit to a date or not (securing the job). Maybe it is just me who can see the comparisons. Wouldn't be the first time I've thought something that no one else has agreed with o:) My friend Computer Geek proved my theory about the importance of a good profile though. I made a bet with him that, if he could get 5 girls to contact him, he would have to buy me a My Little Pony. A few weeks after we made the bet, he had only 2 people message him. I couldn't understand why he was getting such a low response rate. Then I saw his profile! His pictures were allof him with a pint in his hand, making him look like an alcoholic and his description was him waffling on about unimportant things.So after a few tweaks to his profile and making his description less boring, he is now getting a lot more messages and even a few phone numbers. RESULT! And I got a pink My Little Pony toy with rainbow hair :D I called her Princess Sparkle.
Whilst I have spoken to a lot of guys on there, only two have progressed to the phone number stage with me: Skater Boy and Blue Eyed Boy. I went on two dates with Skater Boy and whilst he is one of the good guys out there, it just didn't work out, (there is a blog about this to follow). Blue Eyed Boy on the other hand has me intrigued. He is funny, feisty and good looking and we are going to go on our first date hopefully this Sunday. Also, Miss Koko has stalked his facebook page and cannot find anything bad about him either. It is weird, that even though we haven't met, there seems to be a spark between us that I haven't felt with anyone, since the BFG. He just seems to get me. It could all be an act of course, but my highly built defences seem to have dropped loads where he is concerned and, as my friends can vouch, this is a pretty big thing to happen to me. I have become fond of the defence I built up and for it to have been lowered so easily, with someone I have yet to meet is scary. Alike with Skater Boy, I have been able to be my complete self when conversing with Blue Eyed Boy. And so far the crazy hasn't scared him off. Lets just hope that we hit it off in reality, or it will be back to the drawing board and a massive glass of wine and a watching of Bridget Jones's Diary to remind me that spinsters can find love too.
So, for anyone thinking about online dating but unsure about it, I think you should go for it! You have nothing to lose and if nothing else you will have great stories of terrible dates and amusing messages from people to share with friends over a glass of wine. You also get to chat to and potentially meet some great guys and have fun going on dates. Or if they do not appeal to you, you just don't reply to their messages. However, always make sure you are safe when going on blind dates. I keep joking with Blue Eyed Boy that I am going to bring mace and a rape alarm on our date. But in reality, it is a pretty smart idea just in case :P
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
From BDSM and threesome invites, to men going off on one even before the date has even been set, it is certainly an eye opener into the world of internet dating.
Now internet dating seems to have quite a bad reputation in people's minds, as being a place to basically arrange sex with strangers.And whilst I have had some sexual offers suggested to me, the majority of men on there seem to genuinely be looking to date and eventually get into a relationship with someone. If you tell someone you are signed up to a dating website, you get a sort of 'poor thing' look from them. It is like you have exhausted attempting to date in the real world and you are now resorting to finding someone to date using the virtual realm. Some crazy cat lady spinster, who is so unlucky in love she has to resort to dating webistes like a sad act. However, more and more people are meeting through internet sites and lasting longer than those who haven't. If you think about it though, how is it that different from meeting someone on a night out? You are both strangers, but after chatting for a while you exchange numbers and then hope they text you the next day. Well with internet dating you get to know someone, exchange numbers and then arrange a date. Only difference is you're going in slightly blind to who they are. Although social networking websites reveal a lot about a person before you meet them. Sometimes can work to the potential dates disadvantage.I never add someone to my personal facebook account until a date is on the cards. It is doing marvels to my twitter account though! My followers are gradually going up. Anything to plug this blog I suppose :P
I was thinking the other day, (very dangerous now I am blonde), that internet dating is like an interview process. The dating profile is like you CV. After initially judging the person on their picture, (which, lets face it, looks are the first thing that will attract you to someone), you scroll down to read about them. After weighing up whether the profile appeals to you, you will either send a message to them, or will have received a message from them. Then after a few messages back and for, sussing them out, (the interview process), you will decide whether to commit to a date or not (securing the job). Maybe it is just me who can see the comparisons. Wouldn't be the first time I've thought something that no one else has agreed with o:) My friend Computer Geek proved my theory about the importance of a good profile though. I made a bet with him that, if he could get 5 girls to contact him, he would have to buy me a My Little Pony. A few weeks after we made the bet, he had only 2 people message him. I couldn't understand why he was getting such a low response rate. Then I saw his profile! His pictures were allof him with a pint in his hand, making him look like an alcoholic and his description was him waffling on about unimportant things.So after a few tweaks to his profile and making his description less boring, he is now getting a lot more messages and even a few phone numbers. RESULT! And I got a pink My Little Pony toy with rainbow hair :D I called her Princess Sparkle.
Whilst I have spoken to a lot of guys on there, only two have progressed to the phone number stage with me: Skater Boy and Blue Eyed Boy. I went on two dates with Skater Boy and whilst he is one of the good guys out there, it just didn't work out, (there is a blog about this to follow). Blue Eyed Boy on the other hand has me intrigued. He is funny, feisty and good looking and we are going to go on our first date hopefully this Sunday. Also, Miss Koko has stalked his facebook page and cannot find anything bad about him either. It is weird, that even though we haven't met, there seems to be a spark between us that I haven't felt with anyone, since the BFG. He just seems to get me. It could all be an act of course, but my highly built defences seem to have dropped loads where he is concerned and, as my friends can vouch, this is a pretty big thing to happen to me. I have become fond of the defence I built up and for it to have been lowered so easily, with someone I have yet to meet is scary. Alike with Skater Boy, I have been able to be my complete self when conversing with Blue Eyed Boy. And so far the crazy hasn't scared him off. Lets just hope that we hit it off in reality, or it will be back to the drawing board and a massive glass of wine and a watching of Bridget Jones's Diary to remind me that spinsters can find love too.
So, for anyone thinking about online dating but unsure about it, I think you should go for it! You have nothing to lose and if nothing else you will have great stories of terrible dates and amusing messages from people to share with friends over a glass of wine. You also get to chat to and potentially meet some great guys and have fun going on dates. Or if they do not appeal to you, you just don't reply to their messages. However, always make sure you are safe when going on blind dates. I keep joking with Blue Eyed Boy that I am going to bring mace and a rape alarm on our date. But in reality, it is a pretty smart idea just in case :P
Peace Out
Random Quirky Girl x
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